Letters to my son from Hajj (part 1)
9 years ago, when I set out on the most memorable journey of my life, leaving my 4-year-old behind was my biggest fear.
Every year, in the last Islamic month of Dhul Hijjah, millions of Muslims from around the world gather in Makkah, Saudi Arabia, for a pilgrimage called Hajj. It is one of the five pillars of Islam and a deeply spiritual journey that every Muslim hopes to complete at least once in their lifetime if they are physically and financially able.
Hajj is more than a religious ritual. It is a journey of humility, patience, and prayer. It takes place over five days and retraces the footsteps of Prophet Ibrahim (AS) and his family, whose story is shared by Muslims, Christians, and Jews alike.
Nine years ago, I was fortunate enough to go on this journey. But it came with the hard decision of leaving my four-year-old son behind. So, on the trip, I wrote letters to him documenting my experience.
This year, as Hajj approaches again, I’ve decided to share those letters in a three-part series. I hope that those who’ve been to Hajj will find memories in these words, and those who haven’t yet made the journey may find inspiration to do so one day. As Muslims believe, Hajj is a once-in-a-lifetime duty, and the earlier in life we can perform it, the better.
8th Dhul Hijjah | 10 September 2016
My dearest Rohaan,
The time has come for us to wear our Ehram and set out on the most-awaited journey of our lives. The one journey, because of which I have parted from you for two weeks for the first time since you were born.
I know that you are happy and cared for in your grandparents’ house, but I miss you every passing second, and you have become the center of every prayer I make.
We are making our way towards our Hajj camp in Mina, which is going to be our home for the next 4 days.
Remember the pictures of the white fiberglass tents I showed you? Yes, that’s where we are going.
You were so excited to think that Mom and Dad are going on a camping trip. I am also excited, but also very scared. A part of me is fearful that I may never come back from this trip.
My dear son, before going for Hajj, every person is supposed to clear off their debts and take care of any worldly duties that they have. We have already contacted your uncle and have asked him to become your guardian in case we don’t make it back from this trip.
You are the only asset that we are leaving behind, and you were our only concern, which was holding us back from this commitment. We were not prepared to put you through this hardship at this tender age. Leaving you behind wasn’t really any option for us, and taking you with us was a risk on many scales.
However, I then thought of Prophet Ibrahim (AS), who was commanded by Allah to leave his wife and infant in the deserts of Makkah. Later in his life, he was again ordered to sacrifice his son.
Prophet Ibrahim (AS) was very dear to Allah, and Allah tests and rewards His dear ones. He passed every test because of his trust in Allah. And because of his faith, Allah made miracles happen.
Hajj is a sunnah of Prophet Ibrahim (AS). We complete all the rituals as a remembrance of his real life. If he was ready to sacrifice his child for his Lord, I only have to put my son through a little hardship for a few days. With this thought, we ventured on our Hajj journey, and Allah made things easy for us.
Your Dada (grandfather) in Jeddah arranged to pick you up from the airport, so that you can relax at your grandparents’ house, while your father and I perform the rituals of Hajj without any worries.
My dear son, I love you so much. I pray that one day, when you are old enough, you will also complete this important duty of Hajj. I pray that you grow up to be a beautiful person and a good Muslim with a kind, generous heart. I pray that one day, you and I will visit the House of Allah together and thank Him for the countless blessings He has bestowed upon us.
Lastly, I pray that even when I am not alive anymore, my prayers will form a protective shade over your head and shield you from any form of sorrow or evil.
Our bus is here. It’s now our turn to leave. I’ve packed only the bare minimum to survive the next four days.
I’ll keep writing to you from there, and I hope to see you soon.
Much love,
Mom
Hajj is often described as a journey of a lifetime. But it is also a journey of letting go of comforts, fears, worldly attachments, and returning to what truly matters: faith.
Thank you for reading the first letter in this three-part series.
In the next part, I’ll continue sharing my experience and thoughts while carrying on the rest of the rituals of Hajj.
If you’re new to this journey or curious to learn more, I invite you to follow along.
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This was so deeply moving, Amal. The way you described the process of Hajj while speaking to your son, it felt like I was sitting next to you, listening in on a sacred moment between a mother and child. There was such tenderness in your words, and such strength too.
Thank you for sharing something so personal and beautifully written. It touched my heart.
This is so beautiful! Writing letters to your son from Hajj is such a wonderful idea Amal. Now, you both have these beautiful memories to look upon. Thank you for sharing. Such a tender look into your life and mind.